This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i used baking grease as lip gloss
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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