i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Randomize