those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize