i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I think I sprained my soul last night
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
