This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
