Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Randomize
