Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
