Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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