he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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