I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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