Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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