Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I think a kid would responsible me up
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
