Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize