Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
