pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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