Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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