There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
