I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
