wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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