dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
