Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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