please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
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