Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
