everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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