I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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