I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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