When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
