Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize