Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
