well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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