Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
