ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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