The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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