no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
