You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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