You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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