yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You made out with two different species that night
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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