she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
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Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
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then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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