Dual....:-)
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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