what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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