You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
