but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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