I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
