Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
