that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
