D3 body, D1 cock
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
