I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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