Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
