Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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