Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize