you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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