I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
