If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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