After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I've blown a few things in my day
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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