remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
