You smell like a Billy Joel song
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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