I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize