i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
