Its about making memories worth repressing
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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