he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
